Clothes buying, and resisting the urge to splurge

I haven't posted anything for a while, because I have been on a work trip to the US, from which I returned a couple of days' ago.

While there, I couldn't help noticing how very well-dressed and groomed the people I saw were, and possibly as a result have been battling the urge to go out and spend money on clothes, make-up and so on since my return.

I have bought a pair of pointy-toed, purple shoes, which I had had my eye on for a while and went into the sale at a very good price, and which I had money in my allowance for, but have otherwise resisted temptation.

Here are some of the things I do when the urge to buy things comes over me:

Bookmarking links to things that are of interest. Sometimes I stalk them, see if they go in the sale. By that time, if they are still available in the right colour and size, I may have lost interest in buying them, if not, I should be able to get a better price for the thing.

Writing down the details of things I want. This works both ways: if have a list of most-needed or wanted items, I am less likely to stray from it when I do come to buy something. Also, if I have somewhere to record details of things then I can avoid an impulse buy, and return to it at a later stage, if I want to.

Unsubscribe to shopping e-mails: ignorance can be bliss!

Avoid going shopping, unless going with someone else who will discourage you from buying things, or go window shopping, or go without a credit card.

Browse my library catalog if I feel in the mood for an online spree. It sounds ridiculous, but it really works. Doing this, you might rack up some reservation fees, but even if you try probably won't be able to spend more than a few pounds!

Either do something else - cooking, or housework, or reading - or give into the shopping in a controlled way, perhaps by buying something small, and enjoying the process of choosing, and the experience of going shopping.

Also, having an allowance for personal spending really helps; it means that you feel able to spend a certain amount on clothes, make-up and treats, but you know your limitations.

Spending my allowance - and a new coat

A couple of weeks' ago, I collected my new coat. I had this made for me by a tailoring service. This sounds very extravagant, and it was certainly expensive. It is early days, but my initial view is that this was a worthwhile investment. (The style is a fairly classic, hopefully understated military one; sharp shoulders, double-breasted, and the coat reaches to mid-calf level. The colour, which is not understated, is a very bright blue.) And because it was made for me it fits me really well, including properly long enough sleeves, which does make quite a difference.

Being solidly wool, it also feels very heavy, rather like being wrapped in a blanket, which is very comforting. (I mentioned this to a friend, who said, and knows from her work, that weighted blankets are often used in psychiatric treatment. I can see this would help.)

All the traditional style books I have read suggest that it is worthwhile having a really good quality coat, and Mme Dariaux, whose book I have reviewed here, recommends a very good quality and brightly coloured coat. My last coat was deep red, with a fake fur collar, and I wore it happily and more or less constantly for about seven years; it is still wearable, but showing its age rather, and had to be mended last year because of a very worn sleeve.

Having spent so much of my allowance on a coat, I will be looking after it properly, with a view to wearing it for many years to come. This means hanging it up on a good hanger as soon as I take it off, and brushing it carefully. At the moment, I am going so far as to put it back in the breathable garment carrier that the dressmakers gave me, after each wearing, but we will see how long that habit lasts!

I will also not be buying any other new clothes for a while, so will have to make the most of the clothes I bought last year and early this year, or sometime before then. I acquired a good stock of shirts last year, and having read India Knight's tip about the use of spray starch in 'The Thrift Book' am hoping to bring some life back into them.

In terms of colour coding, I have a lot of black and purple in my wardrobe at the moment, so various options for reasonably coordinating outfits. (Mme Dariaux's tip, which I have read elsewhere, is to match winter outfits with your winter coat. I can't quite manage that at the moment, but am hoping that the colours I have coordinate reasonably well.)

In the short time that I have owned my coat, two strangers in shops have admired it enthusiastically, so I am encouraged in my belief that I have done the right thing.

"Orchids on Your Budget, or Live Smartly on What You Have"

I mentioned that I had ordered this book a week or two ago; I have now read it, and been delighted by more than the title. The author wrote the 1930s bestseller "Live Alone and Like it" before writing "Orchids on Your Budget". This book is not aimed at those with serious financial problems, but at people interested in living well, responsibly and stylishly on moderate means.

It is filled with creative and inspiring ideas, some of which I will definitely revisit in future posts, but the main points I took from it were the following lessons:

-Don't feel you have to maintain a front of a fancy lifestyle to impress others, while scraping a miserable existence behind the scenes. Instead, forget others' expectations, take down the front and spend the money saved on things you care about.
-Work out what you want, and then work away of having that, whether by generating more money - and she offers many creative suggestions for doing so - or by making savings in other areas.
-Know the difference between real luxuries and habits. E.g don't buy a daily newspaper out of habit if you don't actually read it.
-Don't spend so much on housing, or food, that you don't have enough money for miscellaneous extras, whether those are orchids, holidays or theatre trips, or savings. The author is an advocate of getting a slightly smaller house or flat than you think you can afford; this will save not only on rent or mortgage, but also on the extra maintenance of a larger place.
-Plan ahead, whether in relation to your clothes - she suggests adopting a single colour for your wardrobe each year, and sticking to it fairly strictly - or entertaining.
-Play to your strengths, in terms of your assets and skills. My favourite example was that of a woman with a lovely silver tea service, whose preferred form of entertaining was therefore to have tea parties.
-Enjoy the challenge of doing a lot, and having fun, on a little money.
-Don't assume that you would be happier, better dressed and so on, if you were rich. The author considers that those who know about clothes will be well-dressed regardless of how much money they have; they spend time and effort instead of money.
-Do your social duty; return invitations, even if you can't afford a lavish party, and take responsibility for your problems if you do get into serious financial difficulty.
-Don't follow other people's rules on budgeting too slavishly; everyone is different, and you need to adopt a system that makes sense to you.

Book Review: "A Guide to Elegance" by Genevieve Antoine Dariaux

This may sound like a frivolous book to be reviewing for a blog supposedly about personal finance, but actually I found the advice it contained extremely useful and practical, assuming that the topics of clothes and style are of interest to you in the first place. As I have mentioned before, I find clothes-buying an area where I am naturally inclined to spend money.

This book, whose full title is "A Guide to Elegance for every woman who wants to be well and properly dressed on all occasions" was originally published in 1964, though was updated and re-published in 2003. Though some of the advice, written as an A to Z of clothing-related themes, harks back to a more genteel era, with the suggestion of different outfits for morning and afternoon, cocktail parties and weekends away, sounding in many cases more like 1934 than 1964, much of it remains entirely applicable.

Mme Dariaux considers that Frenchwomen tend to have far fewer clothes than their American counterparts, partly because they are less exposed to advertising, but that the garments they do own tend to be of far better quality. She notes, and this was one of my favourite points in the book, that a woman's aim should be to own a single perfect outfit for every possible occasion, and that there is no stigma attached to wearing the same dress on many occasions.

Other advice is to invest fairly heavily in a good quality, and ideally colourful, winter coat, possibly bought with a skirt in a matching colour, as this should last for several years, and to take the opportunity of a prosperous phase in life to acquire some good jewellery, handbags, a gold compact, a nice umbrella - rather than to buy fashionable dresses which will not stand the test of time.

Under the heading of "budget", is the surprisingly short list of items that the author considers essential to a woman's wardrobe; this is expanded upon in the "Ideal Wardrobe" section.

Her advice on bargains is that whether an item is really a bargain has little to do with its initial cost, and everything to do with how much use and pleasure you derive from it over time. The author also wisely counsels against buying anything, particularly in a sale, because it is bound to be "useful"; you should love it.

In summary, I thought this was an excellent, and very encouraging book. It left me feeling that if I could manage to take a long-term view, plan, and save up for clothes that I really wanted, I would end up better dressed, without having spent too much, and with less clutter in my wardrobe.